New video from WOMEN! COPS!
Check out the new WOMEN video if you haven’t yet.
There was a brief period after Hickley shot Reagan where Allen Strickland Williams was acting President of the United States.
Jeff Wattenhofer doing the Internet right.
One day while trying to write something I could submit to a website whose publication of my writing would make people jealous, I realized I didn’t have anything to say. Life hadn’t given me an experience worthy of online publication. I once watched a boy hurl a frozen cake at the…
One of the best pieces I’ve read in a while.
I know some successful people and being a keen observer of the world I have noticed that they have habits, ten habits to be exact. So here are the habits that successful people follow.
Ten Habits of Highly Successful People
10. Wake Up Early- That’s right the early bird does get the…
Please watch the new WOMEN video.
Tomorrow marks the first day of the new year. And you know what that means? Open mics in Los Angeles are going to be inundated with newcomers who have made their 2014 resolutions to start stand-up comedy. I wish them nothing but the best of the luck. In the spirit of being welcoming to these interlopers (Hey, we all had to start somewhere!), I have compiled a modest list of tips drawing on the lessons I’ve learned thus far in my humble comedy career. If you are planning to take the stage in 2014, or know someone who is, please read this or share it with them. I sincerely hope it helps people out there and provides some shorthand I wish I had when I first started.
Step 1 - Acquire representation. Whether it’s an agent or a manager, this is without a doubt the most vital part of the process. If you can’t lock this down from the get-go, give up.
Step 2 - Get on TV. TV is a great way to get your image and your brand out to the masses. People watch TV every single fucking day, and if you have half a brain you know you want to be in on that shit.
Step 3 - Go on tour. With a manager and a credit in tow, you are now ready to start performing stand-up comedy in front of live audiences. This is essential in building up your “fan base,” which doesn’t matter too much but does provide you with some people in various towns you can call for drugs or sex.
Step 4 - Record an album and/or special. With your unique take on being a stand-up on TV and the road, you have enough material to record an album, special or both. Some comics choose to just release a recording of a show, while others want a DVD so you can actually watch it. Some do both. It really doesn’t matter, as long as you make something physical you can sell to people for more money at live shows. You can then use the money for drugs or sex.
Step 5 - Start going to open mics. It’s very important to go to open mics at some point so that you can flaunt your success over everyone else who hasn’t even made it past the first step. Stand in the back of the room. Don’t talk to people. Sign up for a slot, but leave while saying you gotta hit up the Improv over your shoulder as you walk out. Then go home, smoke some pot and think about writing.
Step 6 - Carry around a pen and paper. You never know when inspiration will strike, and at some point you’re going to want to start compiling some material.
Step 7 - Direct.
Step 8 - Write a retrospective. It’s been one crazy ride over the past two years, hasn’t it? Tell us all about it. Go on a book tour to hock your wares and impress the hayseeds at Books-A-Million. Authoring a book is an effort that will not only provide you with some money to buy drugs or sex, but also legitimize you as an intellectual heavyweight. Yep, you’ll be right up there with the likes of Steve Harvey, Bristol Palin and Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’Abate.
Step 9 - Commit suicide. Nothing will enshrine your legacy like a good premature death. Do you think Bill Hicks or Sam Kinison would be as revered as they are if they didn’t “get the light” so early? Of course not. They would just be some other old-timers who couldn’t give up the spotlight for the younger generation, such as Jay Leno or Bill Cosby. You’ve worked long and hard to get where you are. Don’t fuck it up by living past your prime and giving people the opportunity to wonder what they even saw in you in the first place (which was, to be clear, nothing).
Check out the new WOMEN video. It’s called IMPROV.
Allen Strickland Williams loves his head shots. LOVES.
Another example of Kelly Rose’s fine work.
Allen Strickland Williams as Allen Strickland Williams’s head shots.
Kelly Rose came over and took some really fun pictures. You should hit her up if you want some really fun pictures!
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